Feedback. What is it and how it helps to promote collaboration

In the Runroom LAB Constructive Conversations: The Art of Feedback, we explore the meaning of feedback and the main obstacles we encounter when managing difficult conversations, with Víctor Lemus and Guillem Daniel, from Verbalima. 

Through a series of dynamics, they helped us explore the art of giving and receiving feedback, analyzing real situations, using a framework rooted in management 3.0 and nonviolent communication to structure our message and promote collaboration.

Here are some insights I'd like to share with you.

• Feedback is an exchange, a conversation that is born of the intention to build with respect to a situation, behavior or attitude.
• We can think of two types of feedback: Reinforcement and Development, or as they say: Glow & Grow. 

One should not confuse a development feedback with a criticism, or a reinforcement feedback with a compliment.

The main difference is that feedback is to provide the information necessary for our interlocutor to understand the impact that derives from the observed actions, as well as to be clear about what we need and what we are asking for.

• The intent from which the exchange starts determines to a large extent the effectiveness of the message. In this sense, it is interesting to analyse the starting point where we are before giving feedback and focusing on generating a climate of collaboration.
• Separate people from the problem. In other words, learn to focus our message toward the objective reality of the situation we want to address and move away from judgment and personal accusations.
• Our most basic social instincts are patterns learned in the early years of cognitive development. In this context we learned to relate to figures of authority. To understand how these patterns can condition our communication, we talk about the PAC (Parent-Adult-Child) model of Eric Berne, which allows us to identify which archetypes we adopt according to our goals.

1. Parent: imposing message, archetype of the savior, hero or protector.  
2. Child: rebellious or complaining message, archetype of the victim.
3. Adult: Able to appreciate different realities and maintain a commitment of responsibility towards their emotions and needs, as well as the emotions and needs of others.

• Distinguish the judgment from the fact. Applying models such as WRAP feedback, we have seen that one of the main challenges lies in the ability to describe contexts and make observations purely objectively, parking judgment.
• Take charge of the emotions and include them in the message. It is not the same to say, “You make me nervous” (the focus is on the other), as to say “when there is no clarity as to what is expected of me, I feel confused and frustrated” (we take charge of what we feel, connecting it to the observed situation)

Here is the document with the presentation of the workshop.

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• Courage
  Get in the pool! And try, by making objective observations, to express how you feel about what you observed and sharing your needs and requests by taking care of them.
• Curiosity 
  Understand that collaboration is born of mutual understanding and focus on the common goal. Use feedback to understand the other person's context, while sharing your needs.
• Empathy
  Find common ground where you can see how both people feel about the situation and design your message accordingly.

Many thanks to Guillem and Víctor for the quality of the content, the energy generated and the excellent feedback received. It's a pleasure to have you in the Runroom LAB community.